Change Is Upon Us

It's amazing to me how there are special moments in our lives that shine in ways that you never expect or hoped to expect, and you simply know you will carry these treasures with you for years to come.

I sit on the cusp of living a truly creative life, and all I can do is smile. My muse is back. Not that she left me, she simply needs vacations as much as I do, and I can totally understand that!

She was vacationing somewhere great, I'm sure; and I cannot wait to hear the details of her travels. But that will come later. For now, she brings gifts from her travels: images and words of how a jaded vampire crashes into the life of a sexy baker, as they work together to solve another death, find a killer, and save themselves.

This story has been brewing for months now; waiting, percolating. This all began as a short story I wrote in 2007. I simply knew the main character deserved a chance to have his story told. And the time is now. I can't wait to learn Fin's story as he meets his heroine, and they fight to save themselves (and the world) from some catastrophe or another.

My artwork has taken off. It's amazing to me that I started my artful journey less than a year ago, in July, 2009, and I've gotten this far. I am so grateful for all of the love and support I receive that enables me to reach for my dreams! Thank you cheerleaders, I love you so much!!

I see a dream of my future held deeply in my heart, hoping against hope that it will lead to something. Some things do, some don't. You just never know where this journey will take you. Until then, you'll find me covered in paint or ink, typing and drawing from the heart, while I wait, ever dreaming...

A Constant Pondering:

What the heck am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?!?

I just returned from a 2 week trip to Europe - my first. It was wonderful. Paris was cold and dreary but beautiful and inspiring. The food - not so great. The start of the trip was filled with jet lag and sleep/body changes associated with waking up in one time zone and flying around the world to another.

We finally got everything in sync...and it was time to travel to Spain. The train ride - long train ride - from Paris, France to Barcelona, Spain was interesting. The countryside took my breath away, inspiration flying out of my pores. I couldn't seem to absorb it fast enough. We rode first class all the way to the border - quite an experience. Then the second part of the trip, we rode in, what must have been, the first train ever made. It was long and slow and bumpy. I watched a couple next to me make a love connection. People-watching at its best!

We flew from Barcelona to Malaga, Spain, to what will be one of my new favorite cities to visit. I climbed a freakin' mountain, thought I would die from doing it, but hey, I made it - however slowly! We walked all around the beautiful city from beach to border. Enjoyed every minute of it. I loved the cafes, wines, pastries, tapas, shopping, sites.

And still it's so good to be back home...in this freakin' cold weather! It was wonderful weather in Spain and freezing temps back home...so weird. I have so much hope for 2010. But I'm right back to the question that has been on my mind constantly for the past few days, weeks, months, years...what the heck am I going to do with my life???

I'm 30, single, nothing to hold me back..so what is?!

I have no idea...but I do have a new "5 year plan"! So exciting and the details are all my own - a secret! I'm looking forward to normal temps in my old house so that I can start cleaning and reorganizing my life. Once my studio is back on track (I was so productive the last few months of 2009 - my studio is a nightmare!!!), I'm planning on taking an online art class.

I've never taken an online art workshop. I did purchase the DVDs from two workshops of a favorite artist of mine, Tamara Laporte. She taught me so much in her dvds, but I want to branch out, learn from others. I fought with my decision, who to go with: Tam, Julie Pritchard, SuziBlu, etc...nothing quite matching what I envisioned.

So I struggled with determining which online art class / workshop I would join. After 2 days of research I was right where I started...dreading the "only other option." But I refused to give up and dug deeper. And sure enough...I found a winner: Monica Zuniga from www.handsandheart.ning.com . Her work is fantastic and makes me want to fight the freezing temps in my old, uninsulated house to get that studio in order...stat!! I look forward to the learning ahead of me.

Now that I am not formally going to university, I can get back to other things...writing, exercise, cooking, art...okay okay so I never really "got" into cooking in the first place...or exercise for that matter...but there is no time like now to start. I'm searching for better job offers and hoping for the best to come in 2010. I look forward to the changes that this year will bring, especially since I'll be stuck at home since I spent so much money on my vacation!

I can't wait to get back to my writing. As far as I can see, I'm thinking the beginning of the year will be for taxes, writing and art classes...and the second half - who knows. None of my plans ever happen so I won't bother past these hopes and dreams.

What are you waiting for? What do you plan for 2010?

Looking Back and Looking Forward

I received another rejection email, which is amusing only because I haven't sent anything out in a while, so how about that long reply time. I finished French this semester with a B. I'm usually an overachiever when it comes to my classes so normally anything less than an A would be heartbreaking, but I'm not feeling French and school much lately so I deserved the B and will be glad it isn't worse.

I am planning on taking a bit of time off from school. I'm hoping it will only be one semester and that I will be back to the grind come the Fall, but at this point I will just see how it goes. It's not in my nature to stop learning, so I'll take online art classes with some of my favorite artists for the next couple months. I'm looking forward to classes that are available when you have time rather than during specified times, and I really want to take some real art lessons.

I'm trying to get my house in order. It is a mess after this rough semester I've had. I'm packing and getting things ready for my upcoming trip - my first time to Europe. I will be spending 10 days with my friends in Paris and parts of Spain. I'm looking forward to getting away and seeing the sights and being inspired by everything that is waiting for me abroad.

Looking back, I realize that with all the ups and downs of 2009, it was a great great great year for travel. I've been to New Orleans, Shreveport, Pennsylvania, Washington, Virginia, Oklahoma, and now visiting Europe. That's not bad for a year-in-review.

2009 was a blessing. I have so much to be thankful for, yet I tend to dwell on the negatives. I finally made the decision to quit a job that had been holding me back. While I do not regret the decision, I think I could have been smarter, saved more money or changed jobs in 2008! But it is what it is, and I experienced a period of 28 days without employment barely scraping by. Yet the blessing in those days was a clean house, time to exercise, and wonderful time in my art studio.

I completed about 42 pieces of art, sold one, and received requests for two commissions. I started my first online art gallery at http://www.artwriter.artfire.com/ . I completed an artist portfolio, but have yet to show it to the two establishments that I made it for. That's on the list of things to tackle in early January 2010.

I'm working at a job that is more physical, which has its perks, like a killer employee discount on craft and art supplies, that I am using to my advantage, but I'm back in the grind, working a lot so I've stepped back on eating healthy and working out. Two other repeat resolutions for 2010.

A miracle came my way when I was at rock bottom about to make a decision to cash in my pension. This miracle brings with it heartache and pain, but will be what I need to get back on my feet. There is a price for everything it seems. Of all I've learned in my young life it has been that.

Anything I lack in life I make up for in quality of friends and family. I am blessed in so many ways. I get support from those I love, I have a house and studio that I enjoy immensely. I get to create stories and art which heals me bit by bit.

I am not the girl I once was, and I never will be. I am who I am. With the Good and Bad. With the Strong and Weak. The days of me trying to change to please others is so over. I'm stronger than ever and I know that I'm only given the trials that He knows I can overcome. So I will.

This is what I strive for in 2010 and will be my only resolutions. I feel the sentence covers just about everything: I want to be a healthy and happy Me, full of love and creativity, and hopefully finding more success in selling my stories and art!

If I could capture these feelings...

I wish I could describe the feelings inside of me when I finish a piece of artwork or story. Even as a writer the words elude me. Happiness seems like such a dull and insufficient word to use, but maybe it is happiness. If so this is a feeling I'm not used to.

My heart aches in so many ways, but if I can fit a few minutes into my day to create something, a poem, a story, a fix for one of the many holes in my novel, or drawing/painting something, then I'm good.

I stepped away from writing while in school, because its so much easier to finish a piece of artwork then to get into my characters heads, worry about and weave the storyline, etc. I've been spending time in my messy studio since July of this year. The business side of art is very much like the business side of writing. There is so much behind the scenes of writing/creating.

I'm working on my artist portfolio; it just needs a few finishing touches and then I can print up my pictures. I need a professional picture, yet I'm always tired, working, looking sloppy. I will definitely have to get on the ball with this one, since it's such an easy fix.

I started my online art gallery at www.artfire.com/users/artwriter , and I sold my first piece of artwork. (To a close friend who loves me and would put up any crap that I create out of that love alone - I heart you, Nona!) But I'm forever hopeful that others will fall in love with my art pieces the way that I have and hope to have them in their home, daughter's bedroom, nursery, etc.

My style in art, like in writing, falls toward mythology, fairies, princesses, etc. But I'm always learning and trying new things. I have arty parties with my friends, where we hang out for a few hours of good music, painting, and creating. I'm happy that my love for creating has spread, to Oklahoma where Nona has an art journal she keeps, and in my hometown, where my friends have become reacquainted with their love of painting through my obsession with my own creative inklings.

Everything is a circle. Everything is connected. People, places, and things come into our lives for: a reason, a season, and a lifetime. The beauty is in the experiencing and finding out where each experience falls.

Two weeks until finals. I'm so ready for the semester and holidays to be over so that I can get back to living a somewhat normal (for me) life. I am looking into changing my major to general studies. I need to graduate, to complete the goal that I set for myself when I was a kid. I want to be the first in my family to graduate from college and at this rate, my 14 yr old niece may beat me to it. lol. The classes in the English curriculum are not geared toward making me a better writer, which was my purpose all along. So its time to re-evaluate and see what needs to be done. I can always go back to take the few classes that I feel will help my writing. So I'll probably be taking some time off of school, to get back on my feet after leaving AT&T and to really get into my art.

Every day is a blessing, and I'm thankful for all that I have and all that I am. But today...I'm happy beyond measure. They don't call it "paint therapy" for nothing!

Oh How Time Flies

My weekend trip to the beautiful city of Austin was amazing. I traveled with some great friends, had some laughs and listened to some rockin' music. We remembered the old days and I dreamed about the days to come. I do love the city of Austin, Texas and I'm always saddened to see it growing ever smaller in the rear view mirror.

On the drive back, I spoke to a manager that I had recently interviewed with and found that I had the job and when could I start? Well this girl needed a day to recoup from the wild weekend of mud and muck. So I started this past Wednesday at my new job as a cashier at my favorite store, Hobby Lobby.

Hmm a cashier...hmmm at Hobby Lobby? people ask. Where did you work before? people ask. Don't they pay you much better then this place? people ask.

Yes. I left a job that was no longer working for me, that was causing way too much stress but which paid really well. I chose Mindy and Mind over Money. And I must say that I'm loving this new life. I work a few less hours; I get a whole lot more done at home. My house and car are cleaner. I have time to study. I have time to create art and write. My brain is fresh and ready emotionally and mentally to take on the challenges of writing and art and school.

Now my feet and back are a different story. I went from a job that had me chained to a desk for 7 years where I gained 5 dress sizes, to a job where I'm on my feet all day and lifting heavy boxes and objects, and I'm loving every minute of it. My feet are comfortably sore at the end of the day and still all I can do is smile. I sleep so much better than I had been. The stress of not having a full time job had been getting to me. I've had two or more jobs since I was 19 years old. So it takes some getting used to.

Nanowrimo approaches and I find that I'm ready to get back to Nalia's story and finish her once and for all. Will this be the November that I get to the end of her tale? I sure hope so. Her and I have been inside each others heads for too long now and its time for her story to be told. So I have high hopes for November.

My French class is driving me crazy, but I am happy to report that I will be heading to Paris at the end of the year. Yes I will be bringing in the New Year in Paris and then traveling to Spain for a wonderful 10 day trip in all with some good friends. I'm looking forward to that trip, which is the only thing that may help me get through this semester.

I have a story to tell, but I think I'll save that...perhaps for another day.

A Few Words

Ce semestre est finis! (This semester is finished!!)

The blogs have been seldom but I guess I was too busy living!! Yeah right. I was too busy studying or needing to study. Anyways, I am looking forward to the semester coming to an end and getting my life back in order. A full house and car cleaning is in order (I still haven't recovered from my multiple trips/vacations). It's time to get cracking.


I'll load up some pics from my trips and the goodies from my work in my studio later.

I do have the tendency to overdo things. I have decided that I need a few goals to tide me over for a bit, some long and some short term. I'm committing it to my blogging world so that you can keep me honest. I will be compiling the "to do" list in the next couple days and then I will post it here when its done so that I can start focusing on the goals and markings things off my list.

I don't have much to say right now, but I just wanted to post something so that ya'll don't think I fell off the earth. Til next time!

A Day of Decadence

Today I got a glimpse of what my life would be like if I did not have to work a zillion hours a day. I slept late. I turned down every commitment I made and even forgot a few. I lived spontaneously and did only what I felt like doing in the moment.

Life was decadent.

I watched Knocked Up for some serious laughs. I washed clothes and did my French homework while sipping Mojitos and Pinot Grigio (all day long). (I lived like a lush today!)

I'm attending my first National Scrapbook Day at the Cajundome this weekend. It's an expensive all day affair. In order to get some serious scrapping done - I have to have my pages prepped, all of the supplies I will need, and tons to scrap about. Let me tell you, I am just about ready.

I have been taking mini-breaks throughout the day to grab my supplies, prep some pages, get some last minute layout ideas, etc. My current projects include:

Inspiration journal
Lynn's art journal
2007 art journal
2008 art journal
NEW 2009 art journal
travel journal

AND because of my fabulous newly organized studio, which is making all of my inspiration and productivity possible, I am working on some side projects for what I will consider my inspiration section. I have some altered cards prepped and painted and a few extra cards prepped and painted and waiting for my fabulous artist friends to loan me some inspiration. And I am working on a new inspiration project from one of my art journal books that I have been dying to try out. It's coming along nicely, but since I know nothing about shading, I'll have to hold off on the finishing touches for the scrapbook day. Hopefully someone there can help a sister out! Here's a glimpse of my WIP (yes it's blurry - no clear shots until its finished):

Image inspired by the work of Kelly Rae Roberts (Find out more at http://kellyraeroberts.blogspot.com/.); I am still working on how I plan on completing the "face." I tried a new technique today - my first sponging page - coolio - I love it!!!


Today was a day that dreams were made of. All week long I toil at those jobs I dislike to come home and have 2 days to myself, to create and yes drink in celebration of my success. I setup a goal to get my house organized. It's not where it needs to be yet, but the work in my studio has by far surpassed my original idea.

The room provides me with so much opportunity for creativity. I am a lucky girl indeed.

Music: just learned about pandora radio from a workshop at the Nola Stars Conference - omg I'm in love!
Drink: Mojitos mostly
Mood: tranquil and hopeful

A Haven for Creativity

Bonjour, mon amis! Comment ca va? Ca va tres bien!

I aced my 2nd French test, and I learned how to ask others to go out on outings - so that may increase my date options - since English obviously isn't working out so well for me - lol!!!!!

I worked in my house this past week. I've been talking for months about getting the studio ready and I must say it is almost there. I have to share the pics, but please ignore the big white spots on the wall. Yeah, Mindy may a few boo-boos that I have to touch up.

Here is a pic of my little office nook in my living room:

Oh, I can just imagine the stories that I'll concoct in my own little writing space!!! (My office chair is in my studio for now - so I'll definitely need a new one because I won't be writing much in this thing.) Here's some pics of my art studio:

I can't wait to get my hands dirty in my own special creating space!!! So much junk - so little time. Here is an example of one of my art journals:

It currently belongs to my friend Jess. She won it from a contest I ran on my blog a few months back. I can't believe I haven't given it to her yet. It has been a few months since I've made it to her area so I have an excuse.

Looking Forward to New Days

Bonjour, mon amis!

Je suis assez bien. Je parle un peu francais. Je pense que le francais est difficile. (I'm fairly well. I speak a little French. I think that French is difficult.)

Due to the Mardi Gras festivities, I had a week off of school. That means at 5pm, I headed home or wherever I wanted to go, whatever I wanted to do, for 5 whole days. It was lovely and made me regret my decision not to stay out of school for one semester. But I made my decision and paid the big bucks, so school is where I am.

I did spend some time writing and that has improved my spirits tremendously. I figure if I can write just 15 minutes a day, then I can do this without feeling like I'm cutting off half of my heart to chase another part of my dream. But I know myself and my wicked ways, and I know that I'll find that 15 minutes aren't enough. Sometimes I'm stubborn and it's all or nothing. Hopefully, it is enough for now.

The great news is that I'm looking forward to the NOLA Stars Conference next weekend in Shreveport. One of my fav authors Jade Lee will be there. I cannot wait to meet her and learn about world-building!! My sister Stacey and I are heading out for a mini vacay away from home! It should be fun and I'm really looking forward to it. (Maybe I should have made some business cards - another thing on the to do list I totally forgot about. Jeez!!)

The massive pain in the back of my thigh has dimmed a bit. So I should be able to start exercising again. 30 minutes a day, doctor's orders. Ugh, the one good thing to come of this mess was that it was okay to be lazy. *Sigh*

Guess the vacation is over (until Friday).

So I'm getting on track right now. No one knows what lies ahead. A wise friend told me this week (or maybe last week) that we have to focus on today. And that's what I'll try to do. Mostly because I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with what lies ahead....Maybe I won't be as great a writer as I think I am. Maybe my family will be shattered by the verdict. Maybe my GPA will plummet and I'll fail my first class (ever). Maybe I won't be able to become frugal enough to survive the recession and state of the economy. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. The list is never ending.

So I'm studying my French and getting back to trying to be healthy. Tomorrow is March 1st and (as they say,) Tomorrow is a New Day!

Mindy

The Calming Focus

Bonjour, mon amies. (Hello, my friends.) Je suis assez bien. (I am fairly well.) Mon cours tue moi. (My class kills me).

I'm wondering where I have been for the past XX years. I've lived here all of my life, yet today I learned about Mardi Gras. Who knew that there was more to this "holiday" than beads and alcohol. Interessant! My next assignment is to interview someone who was punished for speaking French in school, in the old days. There are like 6 pages of requirements/specifics for the whole project. Then I have to ask for definitions to specific words and be able to explain the answer in complete and clear sentences. Then I have to write a 3 page formal paper on "what I have learned." Jeez, Louise! I want a vacay! Due date March 25!! TICK-TOCK.

I'm currently experiencing that period known as the "calm after the storm." I have a new car and a new attitude. Not that it's a good attitude or bad, but it's definitely different from the Mindy that most of us are used to.

I'm feeling okay financially, a little less so emotionally, and a bit less so physically, as there are kinks (I can't sit or stand in the same position for more than 12 minutes but its much better than it was). I almost asked someone out on a date - yeah you read that right, but while I'm not that brave yet, there is an almost, and that is a lot further than normal.

Yesterday I wrote a post that I felt was too personal to actually send out there for all the world (yeah okay so perhaps no one will ever read it) to see. I wonder how horrible it will be (when??!?!?) I have a readership and they stumble upon this mess that is my musings and figure I'm nuts and never buy another book (how's that for big dreams, huh?) But being me I figure what the heck. Since when do I hold back on the gooey parts. So here's the post that I failed to post yesterday, with a few edits and additions:

I realized today that I am bemoaning my current situation, having forgotten the reason that I am here on this journey.

Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to graduate from high school and go off to some great college. A college so very far away from LA. Arizona, New York, California. Anywhere would have been my choice.

Yet I never made it anywhere. I found nothing but roadblocks along the way. I chose love, which is supposed to be the one thing I always believed would open the world for me, would make anything possible; and all this time I've blamed that on my choices, afraid to admit that I may have the worst taste in everything. (Sometimes I think I need a keeper!)

Yet I realize that it's my own insecurities that always hold me back. I find excuses on the curve of every road to nowhere. My problem may be the obsession I've always had with the four letter word. Since I was 14 years old, I've devoured romance novels. I've imagined it, breathed it, experienced it, wanted it, loved it, hated it. Perhaps I've set myself up for the train wreck (ha) that is that aspect of my life. Or maybe it's because I need to be the victim in this story, not satisfied, always left wanting/searching. Or maybe I should just be calling some hotties, in the white jackets. Regardless of the gazillion excuses and reasons my imaginative mind can come up with, the true question is: WHAT I wonder am I really afraid of? hmmm.

I’m stuck in a job I hate. Hours are taken from me as I toil at a job for a company that doesn’t deserve me. How many years wasted? Too many. More years than I’ve been an "adult" perhaps. But what jobs have I ever liked? I wonder. Are there people out there that truly love their jobs. That wake up refreshed and raring to go, as opposed to stomach cramps and cold sweats at 9pm which escalates until 7am when the only fix is a fetal position and a dark cramped place. What job could I possibly have that I would love? I know the answer and the dream but my mind screams failure as I think it. Things to worry about when I "grow older" I guess.

So what is the purpose? Why work at jobs that are beneath you? Why take classes that you don't want. Why work toward a degree you don’t know if you even need? Why you ask?

Because I made a promise to myself a long time ago, way before love found me, way before the troubles and responsibilities of life found me, way before I figured out I have the tendency to trip and fall all over the place. I made a promise to be the first in my family to graduate from college. I’m almost 30 years old, and I haven’t accomplished the goal and dream I set out to.

But I’m getting there. Slowly, very slowly, but sure. Gotta work, gotta survive, gotta learn, gotta write. Those are the days of my life.

I enjoyed a meal and conversation with one of my fav gals today. She helped me see that I am on the road to where I want to be. That first goal is accomplishable and within my reach. Every day, even if I’m not writing, I gain something, a thought, an opinion, a contradiction, which helps my writing skills grow - which helps me grow as a person. We worked on some kinks in my story and got me some ideas for a fix. Maybe the problem is that I'm forcing my character to be a 2x-something character, when in actuality she is younger. Maybe Nalia's story is centered more toward Young Adult than my norm. We shall see I guess.

My fav gal, helped me realize that had I not gone back to college, I wouldn’t have Marilyn, Mnemosyne, Fin, Sugarcane, etc, and that is a tragedy. None of these stories would have found me had I not been pushed and had I not been pushing myself in class at those times. I’m on this journey for a reason, even if it's not the journey I imagine I want, need, etc.

....The point is that I see you, fair child with the large green eyes. I see you blink those beautiful eyes behind plastic frames. I see you nervously smooth your unruly hair behind cute ears. You pout and wrinkle your nose when you think really hard. You wiggle in your seat when the words are flowing inside of your brain and your nimble fingers just aren't fast enough to keep up. You gaze intently at those you notice around you, when you bother to look up from your imaginings, and you wonder - who are they? what are their stories? what can they teach me? how will they change me? And you are not afraid. You smile shyly and you head off, to explore and tell the stories that only you can tell.

I see you inside of me, and I will find a way back. I may have finally found my focus.

So reader of my oh so crazy life, have you found yours? Think back and reflect! It's good for the soul!

A New View

Bonjour! Je suis pas tres bien.

It's been a while since my last post. A lot has happened, and I've been a bit under the weather. It seems I drove my car into a post, not intentionally but I should have avoided it easily yet I seemed to fail to see it entirely. Too busy and not too observant. I guess I needed to slow down a bit, and I was avoiding all of the other "signs"; so it seemed an actual sign had to come into my path.

Well, I thought my car was fine but it has been totalled. So I'm car shopping, which is the last thing I wanted, needed, or expected to do. There are currently 3 vehicles in the running but I'm not sure what I am going with. I spent all day Saturday car shopping with my wonderful sis, and all I got was heat stroke - fun times. lol

I go back to work tomorrow, and my soul is crying out in agony. The things we do for money. I have to be able to afford that new car note. I have to "work to live" rather than "live to work."

I watched "He's Just Not That Into You" tonight and it was fantastic. I love good movies that make you feel good no matter what your situation is! It's funny how the movie makes you want to analyze all of your past relationships to pinpoint the signs that you should have noticed way back when that would have clued you in that the "relationship" was headed nowhere fast. lol. but that's for another novel.

I haven't been writing or thinking about writing or anything of that nature. I did manage to read 4 books this week - I guess that makes up for the reading that I had planned during the break but never got around to. I love words. I see them on page as written by my favorite paranormal romance authors and I wonder if I will ever be that good. I hope so. I hope that one day the greats get excited when they see a book with my name printed on the cover and can't wait to get home and read it front to back. Big dreams there! But some days what else do we have to hold onto?

A wise friend told me this week that it's about the journey rather than the destination. I keep trucking and pushing everything aside while I focus on the end goal. I realize now that I'm missing everything along the way. I'm missing the journey and running through life. Having landed face first into a kryptonite post, I definitely don't want this to be the middle of my story - because I wouldn't read it. So point taken; I see the error of my ways and will work on improving them.

I realize how lucky I am. I have the best friends and family that a girl could ask for. I only hope ya'll know how much I love and appreciate you, even when I probably don't say it enough. It's in print now for all the times I'll probably forget to say it - Love You!

*Thinking of You: Driving in the car, I hear the lyrics to a song you shared so long ago. I watch a movie, bringing memories of your home state, and I think of you as a child and what that must have been like, growing up so different from myself. Yet I'll never be able to ask now. Every license plate I pass, shows your last state. Every third word spoken reminds me of our unfinished story. You're like a distant memory hidden in one corner of my mind and life. I regret that I didn't speak up - clearer and sooner than you did. I wish things could have been different, and I wish you luck in your life, miles away from my so-called life.

So here's to every possibility I didn't reach out to and all the new ones that I will reach out to. No more focusing on the destination. A clear view lies on the here and the now.

Current Addictions: Supernatural and sweets

Looking Forward to What Lies Ahead

Salut! Mon amies.

Comment ça va? Je suis très bien. Aujourd’hui c’est vendredi! C’est super vendredi! Je suis travaillez le week-end. (How’s it going? I am very well. Today is Friday! Its cool Friday! I am working on the weekend.)

Je pense que le français est un peu facile tous les jours. Je suis préparez l’examen pour le prochain cours. J’ écoutez le CD en français. (I think that French is a little eas(ier) every day. I prepare for the exam for the next class. I listen the CD in French.)

J’ apprenez culturelle, conversation, les jours de la semaine, comptez de zéro à trente, un autoportrait, heure, accent, l’alphabet, et expressions. J’écrivez facile mais je parle difficile. (I learn culture, conversations, the days of the week, count from 0 to 30, self portrait, time, accent, the alphabet, and expressions. I write easy but I speak difficult.)

*Sigh* Believe me when I tell you that this is more difficult to write than it is for you to read the madness. And I'm sure it's pretty horrible having to read this. Thanks for sticking it out for me; I appreciate it.

I've had a tough week with things. After some serious soul-searching, I realized that something had to give. Well, I sent out my last finished short story last night. Luckily I sent out three finished pieces this month. It really was a great month. I also sent out a submission the last week in December. So I started out 2009 with a bang. But it seems that this may be the last submission I have ready for a while.

Those who know and love me know that I continuously add more and more to my plate, figuring I'll either sink or swim and usually I manage to swim. But things are different this semester. I'm actually studying as students really should for the first time in my life, and I just can't swim anymore. I find myself in a position where there are few things that I can let go of. The only thing I was able to find to ease the pressure was to limit the amount of time I spend reading and answering emails (I must spend 2 or more hours a day answering emails) and writing.

Writing is in my soul. I don't know if I could stop if I wanted to. But I am able to slow down on the deadlines that I setup for myself and lower my own standards. I mean, who am I going to disappoint anyway. I will still write down my ideas and musings when time permits and the feeling moves me. But I won't be rewriting, revising, critiquing, submitting, etc. So free writing is okay but writing for others' enjoyment (Ha!) will just have to wait until this summer.

I'm really enjoying my French class, which may not be obvious since I'm complaining all of the time. It's exciting learning something new. I thrive on things that are difficult for me. I don't know if I like setting myself up for disappointment or if I just like surpassing my own expectations. My friends and family are so supportive. Encouragement, help, assistance is always flowing my way. I don't know what I did to be so lucky, but I'm grateful for you guys everyday.

In 2008 I took a chance in a part of my life that I gave up on a long time ago. And though it did not work out, in any sense of the word, the point is that I took a chance. After all of these years (yeah who's counting), I finally felt strong enough to put myself out there. As much as there was pain, it felt so good to feel again.

So I made a decision at the beginning of this month, to continue taking chances, to ignore the fear and focus on the possibilities. For once, I feel strong and capable and worthy of being the person that I know I can be. I'm looking forward to this journey and to what the new year will bring. I am secure and okay with the decisions that I have made. I chose this life, and I continue to choose it, each and every day.

Drink: Coke Zero
Quotes: "If at first you don't succeed try harder" and "If you do succeed, try something harder"
Music: Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You
Dreaming of: Triple Choco Chip Cookie from Starbucks and Hot chocolate.

Question of the Day: If you could accomplish anything in 2009, whether it seems possible or impossible, what would it be?

Time Marches On

Bonjour!

Je m'appelle Mindy Blanchard. Je suis de Pont Breaux, Louisiane. J'habite à Louisiane maintenant. (My name is Mindy Blanchard. I am from Breaux Bridge, Louisiana. I live in Louisiana.)

Je suis amèricaine. Je parle anglais et un peu français. Je ne suis pas parle espagnol. Je pense que le français est difficile et intèressant. (I am American. I speak English and a little French. I do not speak Spanish. I think that French is difficult and interesting.)

Je suis ètudiante a l’universitè. Je suis dans le cours de français le semester. Je ne suis pas dans un autre cours. Je travaille aussi. Je travaille tous le jours souvent le matin, l’après-midi, et le soir. (I am a student at the university. I am in French class this semester. I am not taking any other class. I work, also. I work every day often in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night.)

Aujourd’hui, c’est mardi. Il est minuit et demi. Je suis fatigue. (Today is Tuesday. It is 12:30 AM. I am tired.)

It has been a very long week. Yes I know, its only Tuesday. I was playing around on my computer yesterday (those that know and love me know that I do not get along with electronics and technology.) Well I managed to lose just about all of the extras on this darn blog. I had to try to recreate what I had lost, but I know I lost a bunch of great blogs that I had found along the way. Hopefully, I find time and a way to locate those once more. It took hours to set everything up again. So I really hope ya'll like the new layout, cause I'm not ever changing it again! lol

I live for being busy. With too much time on my hands I never know what to do with it. If my schedule is jam-packed with plans, I manage to stay right on track. The pace nearly kills me, though. I made an offer for another project that I really didn't have time for. As luck would have it, I was shot down. So I don't have to feel obligated to make the world a better place. That's for others, I guess.

I find that I am covered in fear of one form or another. Some days I'm afraid I'll wake up and realize that I've spent x amount of years running around in one or more directions but never actually made it anywhere. Some days I think that I have great potential, which I'll never realize because I never had the time to do the one thing I love, writing. I dream big. Sometimes bigger than I believe I can deliver. Other days, I feel like the world is mine for the living. I have a plan and I'm inching my way toward it, gaining ground each and every day.

Basically what I'm saying is that I'm afraid I'm in a constant state of confusion. And if I don't know what's up in my life, then who else will? This is definitely one of my hardest semesters. I have acquired more responsibilities in my writing, my jobs, my school, etc., and for each responsibility I gain, something has to give. It's usually the one thing I'm supposed to be working toward. I guess I struggle with feeling like I'm not a writer if I can't write. It's hard to be a great writer, if you never actually write. It's hard to be a successful writer, if you never actually try. What if I lose it all? What if I find I have time to write yet no stories to tell, no words and characters to speak to me? I shudder to imagine.

I have to find some kind of common ground in this So Called Life. I need balance. Maybe I should take up Yoga. lol

Until next time. Ciao!

Mindy

Finding The Fix For An Old Story

Bonjour, mon ami(e). (Hello, my friend) Je ne pense que le francais est tres facile. (I do not think French is very easy.) Je pense que le francais est difficile. (I do think French is difficult.) Je parle anglais tres bien. (I speak English very well.) Je parle un peu francais. (I speak a little French).

Mon cours de la francois (My French class) is killing moi (me). I had my first study session with mon amie Crissy, who has an hear and voice for languages. I, unfortunately, do not have either. So while she speaks beautiful French, I sound like an idiot.

My first quiz is tomorrow night. I have not studied as much as I should have. I have done all of the exercises, reviewed all of the informaiton and used French in my everyday life. I did all of the preparation required and then some, but I find that I'm still not prepared. I'm tired of French. I have the cd playing in my car everywhere I go. I have flashcards and the notebook that goes everywhere I go. I have Uno cards that I'm playing my own version of "French solitaire" with, learning my numbers and quizzing myself. I am trying to get immersed. I stop strangers and speak French to them. My friends through out questions to quiz me. I have plans to watch a French film in 2 weeks. I'm reading French websites that I have no chance of understanding. All in all, it's quite funny and embarrassing, but I'm immersed in the darn language. I'm trying, and I guess that's the best I can do.

This weekend was very interessant (interesting). After work on Friday I met up with an old friend at her house. She baked a cake. I watched and looked at old pics of us growing up. We talked and reminisced. It was great. I am very lucky to be as rich in friendships as I am.

Saturday I attended the Writers' Guild of Acadiana Novel Writing Workshop by Romance author Christie Craig. The workshop was FANTASTIC. I was inspired. I realized the problem in two of my current works-in-progress, and I thought up a great new short story idea for my Emotions series.

The novel that I had put aside after NaNoWriMo is now ready to be overhauled. I knew something about my story was off, but I couldn't figure out where it was or how to fix it. The workshop made me realize exactly what the problem was. It seems I was missing a key element; I wrote 1500 extra words toward the story during the workshop and now have an ironclad plot idea (I believe). It will require further review of the story and my idea to fix any other problems that may arise from fixing the plot after 83,000 words but I'll have to save that for another day. For now I am ready to get back into my story. I missed my characters and now that I realize what the fix may be, the story just wants to pour out of me. I only wish I had more time to get it down on paper.

This French class is taking everything out of me. But I refuse to focus on the negative. I will write my words, whatever amount I can, whenever I can, and it will take as long as it takes to get this story finished. Because I normally never finish what I start, or at least that's what I always thought.

But that is not that case anymore. The proof is in: I've submitted 2 finished pieces this week (a memoir and a poem) and I put the finishing touches on my next submission (a short story) which my readers are giving a final run-through and which will be sent out next week. I'm a writer. It's what I do and what I am. I chose my so-called life so I better just deal with the difficulties that being such a busy-body brings and get it all done. Despite how busy I am, I can't not write. It's in my soul, my essence, my heart. And nothing will change that.

Life is great. School is good. Work is ok. Writing is awesome!

I love Kelly Clarkson's new song - I'm looking forward to getting the album!!

Ciao! A bientot! (Bye! See you soon)
Mindy

Savez-vous...? (Do you know...?)

Salut! (Hi!) Comment ca va? (How are you?)
Je suis tres bien. (I am very well).
C'est quel jour aujourr'hui? (It's what day today?)
C'est lundi. (It's Monday)

Pendant la semaine je travaille. (During the week I work.)
Je travaille le matin, l'apres-midi, et le soir. (I work in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening.)
Je travaille le week-end, aussi. (I work on the weekend, also.)
Je travaille tous le jours. (I work every day.)

Je ne suis pas en cours de francais aujourd'hui. (I am not in French class today.)
Je suis en cours le lundi et mercredi. (I am in French class on Mondays and Wednesdays.)
Je ne suis pas dans un autre cours le semestre. (I am not in another class this semester.)

Je comptez de zero a trente en francais. (I count from zero to thirty in French.)

That's all I got. I will probably look this over in a few months when I've learned how to conjugate verbs or whatever and cry at how harsh and broken my current attempts at French are, but this is kinda fun being immersed in a new language and using it in my everyday life, as pathetic as that life may seem when I'm buried in my school books.

I hope you do not finding my blogs too boring as I trudge through this semester (this semester is 4 (quatre) months long - yikes)lol. As soon as I can break away, I'll try to get a life or something like it so I can have something interesting to post.

Bonsoir! (good evening) A demain (See you tomorrow),
le francophone Mindy (the French-speaking Mindy)

Francais lesson of the day: All work and study and no play makes Mindy a very dull girl!

French Immersion

It seems I have been lax in my posts recently, but I will definitely keep up with the posting from here on out. Nothing new going on in the life and times of Me, but the new Spring 09 semester has started. I am only taking one class - and boy is it a doozy.

Here's a bit of a (language) "history" lesson. I was lazy (I mean lucky?!) enough to have chosen a career path that did not require studies in foreign language. In elementary school I took a French class but I can barely remember the basics. While my friends were taking Spanish or French in high school, I was taking Quiz Bowl. lol. In college my original major (9 years ago) was Business Management, and a foreign language was optional - which in college-speak means I didn't have to even think about taking it.

Well, genius that I am, I decided to re-enter into the college life a few years ago after being out for about 5 years or so, and I chosen English as my major. Why? Because I am a glutton for punishment.

I now have to take 4 years of a foreign language, which is okay because I love learning. I want to learn sign language and Spanish. But as my (bad) luck will have it, my two jobs and poor planning on my part, caused me to miss out on changing my schedule which was required to start taking Spanish 101. I scoured the class offerings and found French 101 night classes.

Feeling relieved and extremely lucky, I hurriedly signed up and wrote that big, bad check to insure I was in the class. French. Well, my heritage is Cajun French, so I guess I can learn a bit of French.

I went to purchase the new book I needed for class, which was $213. Jeez don't people know that college students are usually poor. I cringed as I swiped the card, removing my hard-earned money from my poor checking account. (I think I actually heard sounds of the banking gods laughing as I a tear trickled out of my soul as I mentally chronicled all of the other things I'll have to do without until payday.)

Well my first day of class was painful. The professor doesn't believe in speaking English in class (gulp). So luckily I had reviewed the pages for the lesson and did the assignments, but I pretty much had no idea what was going on.

Trying to incorporate learning a new language in my life, which is already riddled with jobs, responsibilities, etc., is really kicking me in the *shin. But I will persevere. The reason: because I will bribe myself. If I immerse myself in the French language and not only pass my classes but also learn to speak and write French fluently, then after completion of my forth class, Mindy is going to Paris! (I'm saving my lint-covered pennies now because this is a dream of mine anyway). And to be able to experience France while understanding what the heck the locals are saying...Priceless.

I've been thinking about the benefits of taking French classes when I really wanted to take Spanish and here is what I found. I love French things. I love foreign films yet hate having to read the subtitles. I love reading so by becoming fluent I can read French novels and hey even write fluently in French - yeah - translations rock. So all is not lost because I now have a game plan.

I'm setting up different French-speaking folk in my life to quiz and talk to me in French. This is allowing me to spend more time with my friends and family and call it required instead of just hanging out, which is always good. And I'm going to immerse myself in the language, learning about the country and the language, reading the gibberish in French newspapers online until it makes sense, and all around eating, sleeping, breathing everything French.

Guess what that means for you...you got it! I will incorporate my French learnings in my blog - genius. Because now I will definitely not have a life since I'll be studying and speaking broken French all the time; so what else will I have to blog about?

But the good news is, hey you may learn something, too. Keep in mind that I'm starting with the basics and have no idea about any grammar rules or anything, so most of it will be gibberish but the goal is start thinking, reading, speaking, and writing French. Even with my messups - it should be a hoot! So stick around for my future posts as we learn about...

la monde francophone (the French world)!

Bonjour, mes amis (Hello, my friends). Je vais tres bien! (I am very well). I love a lot of things that are French including:

la cuisine et le vin francais: (French cuisine) le champagne, le vin (wine), beignets, le crepes

la litterature fracophone: (French literature) Anais Nin

le cinema francais: (French cinema - actors in my case) Michael Vartan (Never Been Kissed and Alias), Vincent Perez (the Crow movies), Olivier Martinez (Unfaithful), Emma Watson (Hermoine Granger in Harry Potter)

les produits francais: (French products) Lancome, Dom Perignon, Evian, Chanel, Dior

Interesting tidbit: the French greeting with the exchanging of brief kisses on the cheek is called bises.

That's enough for today. Maybe you found some things French that you love, too. Until next time. Au revoir!

The Last Weekend!

The last weekend before the new semester starts has officially ended; I must say that I used up every darn minute. Friday night I shopped and ate boiled seafood = yum, then I rested for my Saturday.

Saturday I worked all day long and then I headed out to a hole in the wall bar to listen to some friends from high school play in their band. The band is called Cheater Pipe and they rocked. It was good to see some old familiar faces and to be out and about. I was headed out to a dance club with some friends when I took a wrong turn following the wrong car and ended up in some stranger's driveway. Good job, Mindy! Way to almost get shot! This is south LA, you know. Some people are nuts. But I survived and took myself home - way too much excitement for one day.

I got a new drafting table and paper organizer for my studio - I really needed to finish that thing before school started. Just another thing I didn't accomplish, I guess.

Sunday was filled with working on art with my young student. She finished her first project, a book made of playing cards that will be a present for her friend. Then I went to my friend Shavonne's house. We were planning a Supernatural marathon. She introduced me to a new favorite show, Ghost Whisperer (how do I survive without TV? If I get cable I may never leave home). When her friend arrived, we popped in the first disk of Supernatural Season 1 and I'm officially hooked. We only got through about 8 episodes but it was wonderful. Hmm! How long will it be before I can finish the season? I wonder.

School starts on Wednesday. I have to memorize French intros and greetings by then. I need a dress for a Mardi Gras ball the first week in February; so I better start shopping. I have a critique session planned for Saturday (no telling if it will occur) and I need to get some serious cleaning done in my life.

So the vacation is over. It's back to working, school, writing, working out, blah - I'm depressed just thinking about it. lol. To start the new week off, I'm setting a goal to send out 2 finished pieces of my writing and to finish the January newsletter.

Laziness Before the Storm

My last few days of freedom are upon me. As I gear up for the new semester that starts 1/14/09, I look around at all of my unfinished business, and all I can do is laugh because it just ain't getting done.

I'm marking things off of my list, but not as quickly as I had planned. My studio will not be done by January, but I have two shelves to prime and paint which I can't do in this nasty weather we've been having. So oh well. I have a great head start and will just have to keep working towards it through the semester.

I have completed the Challenge Me project. Ironically, the project I choose was Jess's first post: using quotes from/about writers.

And the winner is.......(drumroll).....Jess. Congrats Jess! You are now the owner of a MindyLou Original writing journal. I'll get it to you at the next meeting. I would post a picture but it seems I'm without a camera. (Too much partying for New Years). I'll add it later. You all will just have to WAIT AND SEE. lol

Thanks, Alli, for keeping me honest! (She pulled the name so I wouldn't cheat). There were some great ideas in the Challenge Me post, and I can't wait to give some a try in my personal art and writing journals.

On the school front: Due to technical difficulty (aka user error), I failed to change my work schedule in time to make it to day classes like I had planned. So I was forced to make a mad review of the sparse classes left looking for anything that I could take at night this semester. Surprisingly, I found French 101. So I will be learning a foreign language, just not the one I originally planned (Spanish). But it will come in handy when I move to Europe right! So all is definitely not lost. Destination: Paris here I come!

I caught up on some movie watching for the past few days. I finished Season 3 of How I Met Your Mother, Season 1 of Samantha Who?, Becoming Jane, King Arthur. I'm feeling so lazy right now. I just realized that I never got around to the weeklong reading marathon I had planned. Where did the time go? Oh well.

Had a scrapbooking party, and I have finally finished some pages for my art journals (usually I just play around while everyone else gets stuff accomplished)...well I have 3 finished pages and the Challenge Me project. Woohoo!

Birthday Celebrations: Alli (yesterday), Cheryl, China, and Stew's new baby boy! (today) - what a great day!!!

Currently Working On: BWG January Newsletter

Listening To: Sarah McLachlan - Song For A Winter's Night (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbgfXp5M02M) - My obsession with Ioan Gruffudd stems from my novel. My characters are calling out to me, showing me signs, making me laugh. They want me to get back to their story. It's time I guess. I just don't want it to be, but I can't stop the words, even when I want to. So okay, Hayden. I'm coming. Hold your fangs!

Drinking: Water (jeez I'm boring)
Dreaming Of: sushi or boiled seafood!
Waiting: to find a match!

Finally! Some Down-Time.

My schedule is now quite "Open." If I close my eyes, I swear I can hear singing. Trumpets. (Wait, I think I hear rap, too!) Okay so maybe its not as tranquil as I thought, there's a bit of kick to it!

The Fall 2008 Semester is officially over for me. I passed my History Class and opted out of the final - and went into the final for my English class with a low A. Hopefully (keep your fingers crossed), I was able to BS my way through the three final essays. I have to get my GPA up.

Now I have about 7 weeks to get everything on track before the next semester starts. Here's the lineup of my WIPs:

I'm putting my novel on hold for a sec. NaNo has worn me out, and Nalia and I need some time apart. I'm all written out. The story is not over. It seems there was a kidnapping, the victim has been found but they are trying to track down the 5 baddies. We found one and he's being interrogated by big bad shapeshifting hotties. And we got a name for another one. So we're stalking him. But a new baddie from a whole other direction just showed up and messed with my mind. So I'm looking forward to this time apart while I give Nalia time to figure our how she's gonna get out of this mess. (I don't know why I keep writing stories so complicated that I confuse and aggravate myself until I bury the WIP's under the bed and pray the dust bunnies get them.)

I want to get dirty - with paint and glue and glitter. I'm going to learn how to scrapbook and work on my altered journals for a bit.

I've learned a lot in the past year about altered journals. And it looks like I'll have to start a new book and try to salvage the ones that I've already started because they are not sturdy enough to stand up to the altering. They are already showing signs of not holding up. Instead of letting it progress to my current nightmare (my first journal is in 4 pieces), I'm going book shopping for a new journal that makes the grade, and I'm going to transplant the pages. Some kind of way.

I'm looking forward to this time of creating and hanging with my sister, Stacey, and my niece, Lauren, and old pals, Tanya and Jill. A bunch of creative ladies to spread and share the creative inspiration. Good times.

But my next plan of action: READING. I haven't read in 2 and a half months (I got some reading done during hurricane season!) So I have some catching up to do. Stacks and stacks of goodies - Sherrilyn Kenyon's newest Darkhunter novel and Laurell K. Hamilton's newest Merry Gentry novel - those are first on my list and the only two new ones I am allowing myself to buy (I have stacks and stacks already of the "to read" variety). So I'm planning about 2 weeks of marathon reading. That should give me my needed reading fix.

During this time, Operation Studio is in effect. I am currently "Fall" cleaning (must have missed the spring version) and I have to get everything out of my second bedroom because I'M GETTING A STUDIO/WORKROOM/WRITING ROOM/DREAM ROOM lol. So there are boxes to pack and move and furniture to haul out and new shelves to put up and walls to tear down. This is going to be so much fun. Well, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe not! Deadline: First day of class. So the clock is ticking. I cannot write or create in a room that is so cluttered it makes me ill and where I cannot find anything so I go out and buy more junk (And downsizing isn't an option - I'm a collector, a thing-finder; so I need stuff).

I have a stack of critiques to go through - nightmare - of stories that my wonderful critique group slaved away at for me that I've neglected until I "have more time." (Does anyone even know what that means - that's fiction, right?). Gotta get those onto my computer and out of my studio.

Yep, I love the break in between semesters. I usually wear myself out and need a vacation from my vacation. But it feels so good to have my life back. I need some down time.

Drink: Water (yuck)
Music: Sade - The Sweetest Gift
Mood: Hopeful
Saying of the day: "It can only get better, right?"

Some Days Are Harder Than Others

I went to bed last night just 1700 words short of my 50,000 go for NaNoWriMo. I woke up fresh and early and got it done! I have completed the 50K words in 30 days that I set out to do and I feel great!

Sadly the story is not done. My character has a new bad guy after her, and she still has a kidnapping to solve. So her and I still have some time to spend together while I get to the real end of her story, but it was a great month. We really learned a lot. I'm taking a break for bit. I really need to catch up on my reading!! And I have a pile of critiques to clear out of my studio. And a studio to create!!

My English final is due tomorrow - 3 essays. I have finally finished them. YES!!! I can't wait for this darn class to be oooooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeeeerrrr!!!

The funeral was exactly what I expected. But I loved seeing my aunt and uncle.

I needed some cheering up, so my long-time BFF Crissy, cute preK teacher extraordinaire, and I went out for dinner and a movie. We watched 4 Christmases (HILARIOUS! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT) and had a bit of my favorite Italian cuisine at Olive Garden. (I would have loved an Italian Margarita but guess I couldn't finish my paper drunk, and I don't want to be hung over tomorrow - those drinks have kick).

An uneventful weekend for sure. I went shopping at some local flea markets - bought a bunch of stuff for my new studio. And I have some great new vintage pieces for my altered art and art journals. (I can't wait to get into some paint soon!) My niece and sister are going Sassy Scrappers with me. Woohoo! I've created monsters. My brother-in-law is mad at me (my sis keeps buying scrapbooking supplies - hehehehe). I look forward to working in some art. Words are kinda getting on my nerves this week.

My first short story is published and available for viewing online at www.theshinejournal.com/blanchardm.htm . Go check it out!

Mood: tired
Music: Katy Perry - Hot n Cold
Motivation Level: 1.5 (out of 10)