Friday, September 25, 2009

Reflection and Art Time

As the weekend of ACL (Austin City Limits) comes ever closer, my excitement and happiness in general rises. I look forward to a weekend in my favorite city of Austin listening to the musical stylings of talented professionals and enjoying time and laughs with my friends. But now I realize I have suitcases and small bags but no "weekender" bags big enough to carry enough stuff for a mini-weekend trip. There is always something...

I'm planning on hosting a bit of a wine and art party at my house this weekend, minus the wine for me. We will put on some music perhaps and see where the mood takes us as we stare at our separate canvases. Two of my good friends are coming over and I hope they are as excited as I am. I've already prepped 3 canvases and have another idea brewing. A good creative day to be had I'm sure!

I've been doing a lot of self reflection. There are areas of improvements needed in self esteem, word choice, and interruptions during conversations. I did very well today catching myself during these moments of lapse, and I really hope that I am finally on a road to better choices.

Today feels like a mystical time where anything is possible. I remembered my old stories and was saddened by the fact that they are still endless. Perhaps one day...perhaps one day they will be told. And I remembered my critique group and the writers group that I've been unable to attend lately. I hope that I will find my way back to my stories and my writing life, someday soon.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Bonjour, mon amis! J' etudie la francais et travaille un peu.

I have not been feeling myself for a while now. The funk was a period I needed to experience I guess but I'm glad to report that it is definitely coming to an end.
The universe works in mysterious ways. Something stares you in the face and even though you choose not to acknowledge it, eventually you will have to.

Recently, I made a decision that was somewhat impulsive, somewhat thought out: I quit my job at AT&T where I had worked for the past 7 years. A decision had to be made. It was affecting my life, my health, my mentality, and I could no longer ignore the ill effects of this chosen profession. Some jobs are like a drug addiction. You know it's not good for you; you know there are ill effects, but you get something out of it (good pay and benefits) which keeps you going back for more of the abuse.

I simply could not take it anymore and put in my notice. I realize that with the recession this was the worst time to do it, but I had to choose me over money, mind over money. I will not lie, there are some days I regret the decision, only to the point that I should have saved a little more money and realized how much the insurance would have cost me.

But do I regret the decision...Never. I have had time to take care of me, my house. I did some major overhauling in my house, purging of a lot of things I never did or no longer used. I painted a room in the house that had definitely been needing it. I work every day at getting my studio closer and closer to where I want it to be.

The end result: I now have less money to play with but I am far from destitute. I've always had two jobs at least, so now I am fully supporting myself with my second job, which allows me to work more hours and take care of some of my business. I've been writing again. I've been creating art. I've been getting an etsy shop up and running and working on supplies so that I will be able to sell some of my artwork. I already have a place of business in town that is willing to put up some of my artwork on display. I'm hoping to one day be able to make some money off of my love of creating inspirational pieces of artwork.

Every aspect of my life has improved drastically, yet I still do not have a 40/hr week job that I am used to. But I realize that no matter what words are coming out of your mouth, it may be the wish of your heart that is answered. So I am not working full time, but I now have time to do all of the things I love that I never had time to do when I was working so much: write, create, learn to cook, keep my house clean, etc.

So I'm not going to let it worry me. What is meant to be will be. And deciding to quit a job that was causing negative affects on my life and well being was the right decision. So it is one that I will not regret.

Now, the possibilities are endless, and I awake each morning renewed and looking forward to what the day will bring - which is what I needed for a long time now. I've been missing writing in my blog but everything has its time and place and I guess I had to work out some things before I could get back to it. I'm hoping that this transition will lead me back to being a regular blogger again. I definitely have the time now.

Here's a copy of my newest pieces of artwork:

12 X 12 Mixed Media on Canvas Titled "Believe in Yourself"

12 X 12 Mixed Media on Canvas Titled "Dream the Impossible"