Saturday, December 19, 2009

Looking Back and Looking Forward

I received another rejection email, which is amusing only because I haven't sent anything out in a while, so how about that long reply time. I finished French this semester with a B. I'm usually an overachiever when it comes to my classes so normally anything less than an A would be heartbreaking, but I'm not feeling French and school much lately so I deserved the B and will be glad it isn't worse.

I am planning on taking a bit of time off from school. I'm hoping it will only be one semester and that I will be back to the grind come the Fall, but at this point I will just see how it goes. It's not in my nature to stop learning, so I'll take online art classes with some of my favorite artists for the next couple months. I'm looking forward to classes that are available when you have time rather than during specified times, and I really want to take some real art lessons.

I'm trying to get my house in order. It is a mess after this rough semester I've had. I'm packing and getting things ready for my upcoming trip - my first time to Europe. I will be spending 10 days with my friends in Paris and parts of Spain. I'm looking forward to getting away and seeing the sights and being inspired by everything that is waiting for me abroad.

Looking back, I realize that with all the ups and downs of 2009, it was a great great great year for travel. I've been to New Orleans, Shreveport, Pennsylvania, Washington, Virginia, Oklahoma, and now visiting Europe. That's not bad for a year-in-review.

2009 was a blessing. I have so much to be thankful for, yet I tend to dwell on the negatives. I finally made the decision to quit a job that had been holding me back. While I do not regret the decision, I think I could have been smarter, saved more money or changed jobs in 2008! But it is what it is, and I experienced a period of 28 days without employment barely scraping by. Yet the blessing in those days was a clean house, time to exercise, and wonderful time in my art studio.

I completed about 42 pieces of art, sold one, and received requests for two commissions. I started my first online art gallery at . I completed an artist portfolio, but have yet to show it to the two establishments that I made it for. That's on the list of things to tackle in early January 2010.

I'm working at a job that is more physical, which has its perks, like a killer employee discount on craft and art supplies, that I am using to my advantage, but I'm back in the grind, working a lot so I've stepped back on eating healthy and working out. Two other repeat resolutions for 2010.

A miracle came my way when I was at rock bottom about to make a decision to cash in my pension. This miracle brings with it heartache and pain, but will be what I need to get back on my feet. There is a price for everything it seems. Of all I've learned in my young life it has been that.

Anything I lack in life I make up for in quality of friends and family. I am blessed in so many ways. I get support from those I love, I have a house and studio that I enjoy immensely. I get to create stories and art which heals me bit by bit.

I am not the girl I once was, and I never will be. I am who I am. With the Good and Bad. With the Strong and Weak. The days of me trying to change to please others is so over. I'm stronger than ever and I know that I'm only given the trials that He knows I can overcome. So I will.

This is what I strive for in 2010 and will be my only resolutions. I feel the sentence covers just about everything: I want to be a healthy and happy Me, full of love and creativity, and hopefully finding more success in selling my stories and art!

1 comment:

Winona said...

Mindy, this is a beautifully written and poignant post. It made we weep a bit for you, but it also made me happy to know you see life for what it is and are willing to take it as it comes. I, too, have learned not to let the negatives or the things I wish I could change about myself keep me from doing what I should or what I want. Enjoy your trip to Europe. I still believe your art and writing will become your means of income and a way to fulfill your dreams. I love you very much, my dear friend. Your art work watches over me in my little office area.