Thursday, October 2, 2008

Drainage

At this point in the game, I am emotionally, physically, and chronically (ha) drained - (sorry it seemed to need another "-cally"). I'm reviewing the recent tasks that I have taken on in my life, and I realize that I took on a few too many. I missed my critique meeting today because I needed some serious naptime. I let down my friends because I simply could not go one more step. I let down my writing to snooze.

And I realize that for the past few days, I have been testy with the mood swings flying at the drop of a dime. (Yeah testy is a bit diluted of a word). How many people did I piss off today alone? Too many to count. Day two of the new month, and I'm not doing so hot. Sorry, peeps - will do better...tomorrow?!?

One of my friends, Allison, just found out she is preggers. And the last time she was preggers (the start of 2008 when I was on my Weight Watchers trip) she ate whatever she wanted and managed to lose 20 lbs more than just the baby weight when it was over. This was damaging to someone like myself who dieted for half of the year, eating celery-like foods (yuck) and barely moving a centimeter on the scale. (sigh) Note to self: Need to exercise more.

People say they love the fact that when I become comfortable with the people around me, I open up and say what I have to say. But I usually alienate those around me because I say what I have to say. Its a viscious cycle.

My soul is crying out to read a good book. To get lost in a story. To run away and find myself in a new adventure. I started reading a book three weeks ago and I stopped half-way through. Its a fantastic book - in the Aisling Gray series - I loved what I read but life has other plans for me. And if there is anything I hate its not finishing a book. I can read a book in 1 sitting - 3.5 hours max. What happens if I never find out the ending? Does she get the guy? Do they survive? Do they find the killers? (Sigh - I don't know). One of my fav authors came out with a book a few weeks / months back and I just have not had the time. It beckons.

My first history test is next week; I barely studied half of my notes, and I have no idea what's what. My take home English essay midterm is due Monday, and I got nothing. My characters in my story are crying out to me, "Mindy Come Back!" Haven't written in three days, while I struggle to figure out where to go now.

I think I need a vacay! I just woke up from my power nap. Off to work and some serious brainstorming for English.

Goal: Be a better person. No bitching! (ok realistically will change from "no" to "less").

3 comments:

Jess said...

Wow, things changed fast! Read this from your previous post:

I vow to take a more active part in my own life.
I vow to make myself more available to opportunity.
I vow to be more diligent in my writing.
I vow to take a more positive attitude towards the career that I have chosen.
I vow to live!!!

I always hate it when people quote ME back to ME but I can't resist quoting You back to You. This is wonderful and I join you in all these.... I VOWs. Let's do it!!!

Mindy Blanchard said...

i know i wore myself out w/ the dumb vows...i vow not to do that again..lol

Anonymous said...

Foolish woman. To voice your opinion is never an alienation. To not voice it is simply to alienate yourself. The best conversations in the world have nothing to do with people agreeing with everything the other person said. A good fight can be liberating, and a good fight with a good friend is never an end-all to a friendship. Only a fight with a bad friend.
It's good to have these conversations, as long as you are taking in the other person's perspective and using it to your advantage. Make that persons differing point-of-view a part of one of your characters. It will immortalize the conversation, immortalize your friends beliefs, and it may even open your eyes to agreement.
~RR