Looking to the future, I am filled with wonder at all of the possibilities before me. I look forward to the end of my school days for a (brief hopefully) period. I need to step back. I need to break away from the grueling schooling for now. Get back to taking care of myself, my house, my life, creating, and see what happens. I will be back one day...hopefully one day soon.
I constantly feel the need to learn and figure things out, so I know that the scholarly life is probably for me. But my problem is that I want to learn the things I am interested in, so the regimented curriculum of schools goes against me and makes the learning process unbearable.
I have plans for my schooling, but I will put those aside and worry about them at a later date. As soon as I know where I'm going with it...I'll let you know!
I can't wait to get back to my writing. I dreamed about my character last night, Nalia. Weird, I know. But she lives inside of me, sighing and gut punching me ever-so-often to make sure I'm aware of her, to make sure I'm grateful for her patience, and to make sure I know how pissed she is that I've neglected her so this past year. I can't wait to hear her story and see how this chapter ends. I'll get to you soon, Nalia. Just give me more time!!
My art has taken me places that I never dreamed. I don't have any ingrained talent. Rather its pure pigheaded-ness and practice. I love it. It's my therapy and each of my pics teaches me something about myself and my life, that I may not have realized this early had it not been created. My ultimate goal is to be able to bring characters and scenes to life to aide me in the writing process. It will all be worth it once I reach that end result.
Health wise, I am reminded every day that I am not as young as I used to be. My body doesn't bounce back well. I feel every ache and pain and change in the weather. I'm only 3o for crying out loud! But that too will be where it needs to be.
This was a great Thanksgiving Day. I spent time with my immediate family and my only "true" remaining aunt and uncle on my dad's side. We gathered at moma's for her wonderful gumbo and potato salad and bread. Stacey and the kids brought turtle pie for desert. It was a great day indeed. Then I went home around 4pm for some studio time. Life is oh so good!
I think often of what might have been...but then I live the life I have made for myself and realize that there is no place else I'd rather be then here...for now!
Mood: hopeful
Drink: water from my new stainless steel water bottle (will have to google the difference between a stainless steel and aluminum water bottle - my old ones are siggs.)
Food: wishing I had some
Music: Christmas tunes playing on the Christmas movie playing in the background
Currently: I'm trying to get around to studying for my last (hopefully ever) French test!!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
If I could capture these feelings...
I wish I could describe the feelings inside of me when I finish a piece of artwork or story. Even as a writer the words elude me. Happiness seems like such a dull and insufficient word to use, but maybe it is happiness. If so this is a feeling I'm not used to.
My heart aches in so many ways, but if I can fit a few minutes into my day to create something, a poem, a story, a fix for one of the many holes in my novel, or drawing/painting something, then I'm good.
I stepped away from writing while in school, because its so much easier to finish a piece of artwork then to get into my characters heads, worry about and weave the storyline, etc. I've been spending time in my messy studio since July of this year. The business side of art is very much like the business side of writing. There is so much behind the scenes of writing/creating.
I'm working on my artist portfolio; it just needs a few finishing touches and then I can print up my pictures. I need a professional picture, yet I'm always tired, working, looking sloppy. I will definitely have to get on the ball with this one, since it's such an easy fix.
I started my online art gallery at www.artfire.com/users/artwriter , and I sold my first piece of artwork. (To a close friend who loves me and would put up any crap that I create out of that love alone - I heart you, Nona!) But I'm forever hopeful that others will fall in love with my art pieces the way that I have and hope to have them in their home, daughter's bedroom, nursery, etc.
My style in art, like in writing, falls toward mythology, fairies, princesses, etc. But I'm always learning and trying new things. I have arty parties with my friends, where we hang out for a few hours of good music, painting, and creating. I'm happy that my love for creating has spread, to Oklahoma where Nona has an art journal she keeps, and in my hometown, where my friends have become reacquainted with their love of painting through my obsession with my own creative inklings.
Everything is a circle. Everything is connected. People, places, and things come into our lives for: a reason, a season, and a lifetime. The beauty is in the experiencing and finding out where each experience falls.
Two weeks until finals. I'm so ready for the semester and holidays to be over so that I can get back to living a somewhat normal (for me) life. I am looking into changing my major to general studies. I need to graduate, to complete the goal that I set for myself when I was a kid. I want to be the first in my family to graduate from college and at this rate, my 14 yr old niece may beat me to it. lol. The classes in the English curriculum are not geared toward making me a better writer, which was my purpose all along. So its time to re-evaluate and see what needs to be done. I can always go back to take the few classes that I feel will help my writing. So I'll probably be taking some time off of school, to get back on my feet after leaving AT&T and to really get into my art.
Every day is a blessing, and I'm thankful for all that I have and all that I am. But today...I'm happy beyond measure. They don't call it "paint therapy" for nothing!
My heart aches in so many ways, but if I can fit a few minutes into my day to create something, a poem, a story, a fix for one of the many holes in my novel, or drawing/painting something, then I'm good.
I stepped away from writing while in school, because its so much easier to finish a piece of artwork then to get into my characters heads, worry about and weave the storyline, etc. I've been spending time in my messy studio since July of this year. The business side of art is very much like the business side of writing. There is so much behind the scenes of writing/creating.
I'm working on my artist portfolio; it just needs a few finishing touches and then I can print up my pictures. I need a professional picture, yet I'm always tired, working, looking sloppy. I will definitely have to get on the ball with this one, since it's such an easy fix.
I started my online art gallery at www.artfire.com/users/artwriter , and I sold my first piece of artwork. (To a close friend who loves me and would put up any crap that I create out of that love alone - I heart you, Nona!) But I'm forever hopeful that others will fall in love with my art pieces the way that I have and hope to have them in their home, daughter's bedroom, nursery, etc.
My style in art, like in writing, falls toward mythology, fairies, princesses, etc. But I'm always learning and trying new things. I have arty parties with my friends, where we hang out for a few hours of good music, painting, and creating. I'm happy that my love for creating has spread, to Oklahoma where Nona has an art journal she keeps, and in my hometown, where my friends have become reacquainted with their love of painting through my obsession with my own creative inklings.
Everything is a circle. Everything is connected. People, places, and things come into our lives for: a reason, a season, and a lifetime. The beauty is in the experiencing and finding out where each experience falls.
Two weeks until finals. I'm so ready for the semester and holidays to be over so that I can get back to living a somewhat normal (for me) life. I am looking into changing my major to general studies. I need to graduate, to complete the goal that I set for myself when I was a kid. I want to be the first in my family to graduate from college and at this rate, my 14 yr old niece may beat me to it. lol. The classes in the English curriculum are not geared toward making me a better writer, which was my purpose all along. So its time to re-evaluate and see what needs to be done. I can always go back to take the few classes that I feel will help my writing. So I'll probably be taking some time off of school, to get back on my feet after leaving AT&T and to really get into my art.
Every day is a blessing, and I'm thankful for all that I have and all that I am. But today...I'm happy beyond measure. They don't call it "paint therapy" for nothing!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Gearing up for what's ahead
Any desire to be a writer or artist is strife with research, learning, mess. Creating is the easy part. Its what comes after that is stress worthy and headache worthy.
This year I have transitioned drastically from the person I started out being as the new year was upon us. I changed jobs. I bought a new car. I had many eye-opening and life-evaluating experiences.
I reorganized my house and my life. I repainted my bedroom. I put paintings up in my house. I stepped back from my art journaling and became a true artist.
Now I'm working on the business of art, which is very similar to the business of writing. My creativity stems from so many areas. I find that this year was the year where I sought instant gratification that only art and short stories can give me. My novel has shifted to the wayside, but I remain working on the small stuff and cultivating the stories in my head.
In the art aspect, I currently have 12 pieces that I have finished so far this year. I have acquired postcards, business cards, plastic sleeves, envelops, mailing labels, rubber stamps with mailing address, etc.
I have created both an etsy and artfire account to eventually put the artwork and prints up for sale. I have found that with my recent change in jobs, I don't have to "give up" anything like I did for 2008 and the beginning of 2009. I'm following in school, though slightly behind. I'm taking care of the house and regular "chores" like I never did before. I'm becoming more well-rounded as a domestic-inclined person, student, writer, artist, person, etc.
I'm currently working on my artist portfolio and hoping to get a few of my paintings on display at a local venue. There are resumes, bios, statements, etc to be completed. I have tackled the listing of paintings, determined pricing, setup spreadsheets for accounting purposes, etc. I'm working on certificates of authenticity right now.
I joined 3 art groups online who have been my constant supporters, fountains of knowledge, and helpers throughout this process and ordeal. I have learned so much and am ever so grateful for these changes in my life which have lead me to here.
I feel inspired so easily these days and I now have the means to take that inspiration and make something, rather than putting it aside for another time.
I have always had the tendency to focus on the bad. I am working on self esteem and forgiveness and I'm learning to think positive and focus on all of the good that surrounds me. While I do not have the family that I always dreamed of, I have a great group of family and friends that love and support me and enable me to be and do all that I dream of. The rest will come or won't. We all have a purpose in life, whether we know it or not and that too will be shown in time.
I hope to get back into the swing of things, attending writers group and critique group meetings, attending to my writerly duties and returning emails and doing all of the things I previously loved doing. But time will tell when that will be possible. My new work situation has me alternating weekends with both of my jobs, which means I'm working every weekend. I don't have the funds to do all that I previously did, attending conferences and planning vacations. So I'm learning to budget and plan for bigger things rather than many smaller venues.
New Years Eve will bring me to my first trip to Europe. I will be traveling with friends to Paris and beyond ... to Morocco. A chance of a lifetime. A new understanding of the language to see fruition. Life is just so so good. I had no idea it was possible to be this happy.
Mood: content
Drinking: way too much cola
Eating: 1st ever crab cakes I ever made and moma's gumbo
Wishing for: the strength to get through these hard times with a positive attitude and a happy demeanor....and to get some of my art out there for the world to see and purchase...Finally selling something I had created is definitely on the list of hopes!
what else is there???
This year I have transitioned drastically from the person I started out being as the new year was upon us. I changed jobs. I bought a new car. I had many eye-opening and life-evaluating experiences.
I reorganized my house and my life. I repainted my bedroom. I put paintings up in my house. I stepped back from my art journaling and became a true artist.
Now I'm working on the business of art, which is very similar to the business of writing. My creativity stems from so many areas. I find that this year was the year where I sought instant gratification that only art and short stories can give me. My novel has shifted to the wayside, but I remain working on the small stuff and cultivating the stories in my head.
In the art aspect, I currently have 12 pieces that I have finished so far this year. I have acquired postcards, business cards, plastic sleeves, envelops, mailing labels, rubber stamps with mailing address, etc.
I have created both an etsy and artfire account to eventually put the artwork and prints up for sale. I have found that with my recent change in jobs, I don't have to "give up" anything like I did for 2008 and the beginning of 2009. I'm following in school, though slightly behind. I'm taking care of the house and regular "chores" like I never did before. I'm becoming more well-rounded as a domestic-inclined person, student, writer, artist, person, etc.
I'm currently working on my artist portfolio and hoping to get a few of my paintings on display at a local venue. There are resumes, bios, statements, etc to be completed. I have tackled the listing of paintings, determined pricing, setup spreadsheets for accounting purposes, etc. I'm working on certificates of authenticity right now.
I joined 3 art groups online who have been my constant supporters, fountains of knowledge, and helpers throughout this process and ordeal. I have learned so much and am ever so grateful for these changes in my life which have lead me to here.
I feel inspired so easily these days and I now have the means to take that inspiration and make something, rather than putting it aside for another time.
I have always had the tendency to focus on the bad. I am working on self esteem and forgiveness and I'm learning to think positive and focus on all of the good that surrounds me. While I do not have the family that I always dreamed of, I have a great group of family and friends that love and support me and enable me to be and do all that I dream of. The rest will come or won't. We all have a purpose in life, whether we know it or not and that too will be shown in time.
I hope to get back into the swing of things, attending writers group and critique group meetings, attending to my writerly duties and returning emails and doing all of the things I previously loved doing. But time will tell when that will be possible. My new work situation has me alternating weekends with both of my jobs, which means I'm working every weekend. I don't have the funds to do all that I previously did, attending conferences and planning vacations. So I'm learning to budget and plan for bigger things rather than many smaller venues.
New Years Eve will bring me to my first trip to Europe. I will be traveling with friends to Paris and beyond ... to Morocco. A chance of a lifetime. A new understanding of the language to see fruition. Life is just so so good. I had no idea it was possible to be this happy.
Mood: content
Drinking: way too much cola
Eating: 1st ever crab cakes I ever made and moma's gumbo
Wishing for: the strength to get through these hard times with a positive attitude and a happy demeanor....and to get some of my art out there for the world to see and purchase...Finally selling something I had created is definitely on the list of hopes!
what else is there???
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Oh How Time Flies
My weekend trip to the beautiful city of Austin was amazing. I traveled with some great friends, had some laughs and listened to some rockin' music. We remembered the old days and I dreamed about the days to come. I do love the city of Austin, Texas and I'm always saddened to see it growing ever smaller in the rear view mirror.
On the drive back, I spoke to a manager that I had recently interviewed with and found that I had the job and when could I start? Well this girl needed a day to recoup from the wild weekend of mud and muck. So I started this past Wednesday at my new job as a cashier at my favorite store, Hobby Lobby.
Hmm a cashier...hmmm at Hobby Lobby? people ask. Where did you work before? people ask. Don't they pay you much better then this place? people ask.
Yes. I left a job that was no longer working for me, that was causing way too much stress but which paid really well. I chose Mindy and Mind over Money. And I must say that I'm loving this new life. I work a few less hours; I get a whole lot more done at home. My house and car are cleaner. I have time to study. I have time to create art and write. My brain is fresh and ready emotionally and mentally to take on the challenges of writing and art and school.
Now my feet and back are a different story. I went from a job that had me chained to a desk for 7 years where I gained 5 dress sizes, to a job where I'm on my feet all day and lifting heavy boxes and objects, and I'm loving every minute of it. My feet are comfortably sore at the end of the day and still all I can do is smile. I sleep so much better than I had been. The stress of not having a full time job had been getting to me. I've had two or more jobs since I was 19 years old. So it takes some getting used to.
Nanowrimo approaches and I find that I'm ready to get back to Nalia's story and finish her once and for all. Will this be the November that I get to the end of her tale? I sure hope so. Her and I have been inside each others heads for too long now and its time for her story to be told. So I have high hopes for November.
My French class is driving me crazy, but I am happy to report that I will be heading to Paris at the end of the year. Yes I will be bringing in the New Year in Paris and then traveling to Spain for a wonderful 10 day trip in all with some good friends. I'm looking forward to that trip, which is the only thing that may help me get through this semester.
I have a story to tell, but I think I'll save that...perhaps for another day.
On the drive back, I spoke to a manager that I had recently interviewed with and found that I had the job and when could I start? Well this girl needed a day to recoup from the wild weekend of mud and muck. So I started this past Wednesday at my new job as a cashier at my favorite store, Hobby Lobby.
Hmm a cashier...hmmm at Hobby Lobby? people ask. Where did you work before? people ask. Don't they pay you much better then this place? people ask.
Yes. I left a job that was no longer working for me, that was causing way too much stress but which paid really well. I chose Mindy and Mind over Money. And I must say that I'm loving this new life. I work a few less hours; I get a whole lot more done at home. My house and car are cleaner. I have time to study. I have time to create art and write. My brain is fresh and ready emotionally and mentally to take on the challenges of writing and art and school.
Now my feet and back are a different story. I went from a job that had me chained to a desk for 7 years where I gained 5 dress sizes, to a job where I'm on my feet all day and lifting heavy boxes and objects, and I'm loving every minute of it. My feet are comfortably sore at the end of the day and still all I can do is smile. I sleep so much better than I had been. The stress of not having a full time job had been getting to me. I've had two or more jobs since I was 19 years old. So it takes some getting used to.
Nanowrimo approaches and I find that I'm ready to get back to Nalia's story and finish her once and for all. Will this be the November that I get to the end of her tale? I sure hope so. Her and I have been inside each others heads for too long now and its time for her story to be told. So I have high hopes for November.
My French class is driving me crazy, but I am happy to report that I will be heading to Paris at the end of the year. Yes I will be bringing in the New Year in Paris and then traveling to Spain for a wonderful 10 day trip in all with some good friends. I'm looking forward to that trip, which is the only thing that may help me get through this semester.
I have a story to tell, but I think I'll save that...perhaps for another day.
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